What is Art?

Give Thanks...

for leftovers!



And let me take this opportunity to reiterate that the directions on the turkey wrapping and pop-up timers are THE DEVIL, and downright wrong.



This beautiful bird was cooked from start to finish in TWO AND A HALF HOURS- not 6 like the package of the 16lb carcass said... and it was juicy and delicious, and after a mere thirty minutes yielded that delicious pile of meat in the first pic!

Having gotten the annual Turkey-debate rant out, let me say how much I appreciated NOT stressing this thanksgiving. It really is my favorite holiday, and it was so nice to enjoy it with family, and feel relaxed the entire time (even when the complaints about eating at 9 pm started when the turkey wasn't in by 1 pm...)

procrastination

OK relax. First let me say this pic represents a long period of wine tasting- and a long period of holding on to bottles I liked to try to record their info. Like my Shelfari account, I'm finally getting around to updating my Cork'd account, and input these bottles. Sadly though, all I can remember at this point is I liked these bottles, enough to not throw the bottles out...

NA- but Cork'd is a great site... my only complaint, is there is no OTHER option, which is what is keeping me from posting two of the more outstanding bottles of this group.


So this bottle was a gift from my wonderful friends at the German Embassy- that has been sitting under the bookcase for a year. When I opened it- it smelled like old dirt. Not dry old dirt-moist, stinky old dirt. Not good, the wine was a burnt red color too... I was pretty sure it was corked. But, the flavor was pretty good (when I held my nose). A few Days later, the weird smell was gone,and the full flavor was really good, complex and full, with just enough edge to round it out. the kind of bottle you kinda regretting opening alone. (check the blog tag line for my feeling on that subject). Now, it's figuring if this is a buy able wine state-side...

another bottle I can't enter but really enjoyed:


I'll admit- I bought it bc it was two donkeys winery, and I like their little manifesto "Far from the world of global wine making ,we seek the simple pleasures of life in which wine reflects our identities and is a focus of friendship. This desire to follow our own convictions means we are always questioning attitudes and practices, but we get enormous satisfaction and pleasure from it. It is that pleasure that we would like to share with you through our wines."

anyway, for a bottle picked up on a whim for $12 at Best Cellars, very enjoyable.

spell better to feed the world

Shoma, the lovely and talented, sent me this link. I gave 350 grains this morning while eating my breakfast. AND got to practice using ten cent words!

www.freerice.com

24 hours of silence

Yesterday I spent in silence.

For a lot of reasons-most of you reading know some (thank you again). With all that's been swirling around, I wanted to take some time to be alone with my thoughts, not to figure them out, but to just let them be and settle. I've been trying so hard to figure things out, I'm loosing sight of what's important, and drowning out the voices that I should be listening to.

So what did it involve? Well my apartment is a wreck, so it did involve a lot of careful cleaning and clearing. But I wanted no voices- no radio, no talking, no cell, no internet. I focused on what I was doing, and worked hard to keep my mind from hopping ahead.

It was amazing.

We so easily forget how grossly overstimulated we are every day at every turn. It's one of the things I've found with no TV-with two magazine subscriptions, daily newspaper, books to read and blogs to read, I can't imagine WHEN I would watch TV. (still thought think the Wii is the most spendiferous invention ever, and still on the fence of trying to cram a TV in here for that...)

Overstimulation speaks to the clearing too. I still remember well when I moved in here and had nothing-literally sleeping on a pile of blankets. Now there so much crap in my place it amazes me. I have hit the point where I feel I have no more wall space (sorry Nora-the cow hide may not get up). i threw out two years worth of magazines- some of which I never read- and one years worth I actually MOVED two years ago. I also sorted out two big boxes of donation clothes, and didn't even get thru my entire closet.

OK, those last bits weren't the most exciting things in the world, but they were examples. And the point is-cleanign and clearing made me realize how rich I am. That I HAVE that much clothing to give away and still have a full wardrobe. That I could toss the questionable milk (it shouldn't taste like metal right?) and still have a full pantry of good fresh food.

I may not always be happy, but I recognize I am lucky.

high-class celebration

thanks to Mona and Pete-who know real chefs are a good mix of snobbery and convenience! For the record this was followed by a lovely dinner at Casa "Mona". I recommend the razor clams, and the foie gras...oh good lord the foie gras...

Anyway, I recommend sitting at the bar-because it was damn fun to sit and try to guess what each dish was as it was being made. And bc it was great to hear the chefs comment on the chicks at the end of the bar "Just shut up and eat it."

!!!!!!!

that was SO COOL.

I got called a PROFESSIONAL chef!! They asked what restaurant I worked at! They asked for my contact info before I could even offer it!

and the food was GOOD! Despite all the gluten free hoo-hah, the food tasted good, and they were happy with it.

My hands will smell like lamb for a bit but hell! that's the price I'll pay!


thanks to EVERYONE, to all my beilevers- Mom and Pops, Pete and Mona, Nora(and the Parigi crew), Killer, Sailor-Mouth, Rose...

Thanks to the good eaters at the party that asked for seconds, to the guys for giving me a chance...THANKS...that was amazing.

I know the reward is great

But this is exausting! It's 10:52, and I just spent the last HOUR dicing mushrooms. MUSHROOMS! There was a time I didn't LIKE mushrooms! I'm actually thinking of taking a "nap" and waking up at 5 or 6 to test cook a rack of lamb.

Hello crazy how are you?

Thank you mom for the gummy worms- they are getting me thru... and I still have to do the entree prep... next time, at least three days warning on dinner parties...

P.S. I'm dedicating this to all the folks that believed in me the whole time. I'm actually imagining I'm cooking this glutenous (but gluten-free!) feast for you guys. I'm so glad you were right.

bon appetit!

What are you Leaving?

Leave that which makes you doubt for that which does not make you doubt.

I'm leaving the opinions of people that don't matter-that don't really know me, that don't really care about me.

so... what are you leaving?

All my girls are bricks

this is courtesy Mona- sent a while ago and i kept meaning to put it up. This is for all my girls-who I couldn't love more.


I Can Do Anything, So How Do I Choose?
(With countless options and all the freedom I'll ever need, comes the pressure to find the perfect life )
By Jenny Norenberg
Newsweek - Dec. 6 issue

For the most part, my women friends and I were kids of upper-middle-class privilege, raised to believe that, with hard work and a little courage, the world was ours. We climbed mountains at summer camp, went to Europe on high-school class trips and took family vacations to New York City and the Grand Canyon. Our parents, like theirs before them, told their kids they could go anywhere and do anything. We took them at their word.

By the time we hit adulthood, technology and globalization had brought the world to our doorstep. Now in our mid-20s, we're unsteadily navigating a barrage of choices our mothers never had the chance to make. No one can complain about parents who started sentences with "When you're president..."

But we are now discovering the difficulty of deciding just what makes us happy in a world of innumerable options.

Three years ago my friends and I barreled out of the University of Wisconsin ready to make our mark on the world. Julia headed to France to teach English. I started law school in Minneapolis. Marie and Alexis searched for work in San Francisco. Bridget started an internship in D.C. Kristina landed a job in Ireland. The list goes on. Scattering to our respective destinations, we were young enough to follow our crazy dreams but old enough to fend for ourselves in the real world. At a time when our lives were undergoing dramatic changes, so was America. Three months after receiving our diplomas, the Twin Towers came crashing down. We realized that, in more ways than one, the world was scarier and more complex than we'd ever imagined.

Since graduation, we've struggled to make our own happiness. It seems that having so many choices has sometimes overwhelmed us. In the seven years since I left home for college, I've had 13 addresses and lived in six cities. How can I stay with one person, at one job, in one city, when I have the world at my fingertips?

Moving from one place to the next, bouncing from job to job, my friends and I have experienced the world, but also gotten lost in it. There have been moments of self-doubt, frantic calls cross-country. ("I don't know a soul here!" "Do I really want to be a ____?") Frustrated by studying law, I joined friends in San Francisco to waitress for a summer and contemplate whether to return to school in Minnesota. Unhappy and out of work in Portland, Molly moved to Chicago. Loni broke up with a boyfriend and packed her tiny Brooklyn apartment into a U-Haul, heading for Seattle. Others took jobs or entered grad school anywhere from Italy to L.A. Some romances and friendships succumbed to distance, career ambition or simply growing up. We all lost some sleep at one point or another, at times feeling utterly consumed by cities of thousands, even millions, knowing that even local friends were just as transient as we were.

Like so many women my age, I remain unmarried at an age when my mother already had children. She may have had the opportunity to go to college, but she was expected to marry soon after. While my friends and I still feel the pressure to marry and have children, we've gained a few post college years of socially accepted freedom that our mothers never had.

The years between college and marriage are in many ways far more self-defining than any others. They're filled with the simplest, yet most complex, decisions in life: choosing a city, picking a career, finding friends and a mate-in sum, building a happy and satisfying life. For me and for my group of friends, these years have been eye-opening, confusing fabulous at the same time.

The more choices you have, the more decisions you must make-and the moreyou have yourself to blame if you wind up unhappy. There is a kind of perverted
contentedness in certainty born of a lack of alternatives. At my age, my mother, whether she liked it or not, had fewer tough decisions to make. I don't envy the pressure she endured to follow a traditional career path and marry early. But sometimes I envy the stability she had.

Once again I've been unable to resist the lure of a new city. So, as I start my legal career in Chicago, I'm again building friendships from scratch, learning my way around a strange new place. Yes, my friends and I could have avoided the loneliness and uncertainty inherent in our journeys, and gone back to our hometowns or stayed in the college town where we had each other. But I doubt any one of us would trade our adventures for that life. I have a sense of identity and self-assurance now that I didn't have, couldn't have had, when I graduated from college. And I know someday I'll look back on this time-before I had a spouse, a home and children to care for-and be thankful for the years that just belonged to me.

Who would I be if I was genuinely myself?

I'd be kind, I'd be giving and appreciative of what I have been given. I'd not expect anything in return- I'd keep no tallies. I'd be adventurous, unafraid of change because I know my grounding is firmly planted in myself. I'd be sensual, not to entice intentionally, but because sensuality is the greatest gift of human experience and should be appreciated and shared and encouraged. I'd be wise enough to know I know very little, so I'd always be open. To others, to experience, to everything. I'd also be confident in my openness, to not take everything as true, but to find my own truths- find what resonates for me and follow it, let it into my heart.

I'd also want to be forgiving-mainly of myself. Right now, not in a state to think of being open and giving and compassionate to others-even though I know I should.

For a while though, I'm going to be closed-let's say for necessary maintenance.

C'est tellement mysterieux,

le pays des larmes.

random acts of friendship

Tonight, I took a friend to an event when she got to see a celebrity she was really excited about. Personally- the celebrity (European royalty) didn't mean much to me, but to see my friend get so excited she had jello-knees, I fely realy REALLY good.

It was a two-fold deal here. The infectious excitement of a friend, and the giddiness that a gesture given out of friendship to a friend can mean so much. It made me happier than I've been in a while, just being able to give that much happiness to a friend. And it made me remember how important my friends are, and how lucky I am to be blessed with sucha great GREAT group around me.

So thanks guys- for all I don't say it everyday-y'all are amazing. You're my inspiration and reward.

Je sais/ Je ne sais pas Part 1: I don't know my family

I hereby formally and publically acknowledge I know nothing about my family members.

All my preconcieved notions and views- are bunk. And I LOVE it.

I feel a really important for a good relationship-be it friends or romantic (or both ;P ) to thrive, both sides need to be able to surprise the other with a new facet of themselves that was not manifest before. Now, we're not talking cheap card tricks or contortion tricks here. I'm talking beliefs, experiences, world views! For this to happen of course, both sides need to be open and accepting of the potential for innovation. You can't be cynical, or judgemental. You always have to accept that the people you love you know better than anyone else, and not at all at the same time.

And Famliy-in the words of Wes Anderson, not a word but a sentance. Family is the easiest group to overlook, to close yourself to. You know who your mom is- you've known her all your life. But what if you suddenly found out she worked at burlesque show before you were born- and she liked it?!!? Or your pop's who you know had an adventurous and exciting youth-ever asked him what compelled him to travel, what he was looking for?

ASK damnit! the answers are your history. And it's always good to remember everyone around you is unique and absolutely amazing.

VRAIMENT sans but...mais...

I've gotten into a rut- I think about blogging as something that only can happen when I have something deep and important to say. I also get scared it will be too personal, i'm putting myself on the web, but god forbid I let any of my real self actually show through.

Which is silly, and far too restrictive.

For the past two years, I've felt I was on a vision quest, but realize now that my own restrictions and hang-ups have kept me from REALLY getting anywhere. How can you imerse yourself in change if you're still standing on the shore, wrapped in a towel dipping your foot it? And the question at this point is-what do I have to loose? What harm comes from exposing myself? What conviction can I have if I won't stand up in a roomful of strangers and defend my own beliefs?

Conformity has always been part of my life though, and for most of it, conformity was not a dirty word. It was the safe haven of an immigrant father who wanted so badly to have a better life for himself and those he love, he immersed himself in a foreign culture. But, that better life for me includes the chance to stand uo and say no to the "american dream," but rather thank you very much I'll find my own dream. Or enjoy the journey as the dream.

So yes, I've been sad and despondant lately. But not for silly reasons. Sorry Pete but I still do take things personally and am overly emotional, I've just gotten better at hiding it until I've worked through it.

And going back to an image from Paris, my life is at a rolling boil right now. And in the pot there are many possibilities-it's just seeing thru the bubbles to figure which is the tastiest.

WTF

I swear- I WANT to make this thing sexier. But everytime I try to upload a pic to the template, it just hangs forever (really, ten minutes).

wtf.

dit-moi une historie (faux)

Humans want narratives.
I know this because I work in the film industry- Humans want stories. Hard facts are mearly props in the story, and as such can be used any number of different ways according to the story the author wants to tell.

Everyone tells themselves stories-and often between individuals, stories are the source of miscommunication, and even breakdown of all communication. Women especially tell themselves stories, and get caught up in the emotion of what they THINK happened, they act on that emotion before they even bother to find out if it was true. Kind of like when you wake up angry from a dream. You may punch the person in bed next to you, even if you know the emotions the dream inspired aren't real.

Crazy!

So the option then, seems pretty clear, ASK. Tell the person what's going through your head, and either experience the emotions because you were right, or get over it.

But what about when the stories are helpful-what about when the stories keep us from engaging ourselves in situations that can be more emotionally damaging than believing the untested story? Is it good then to hold onto the story? Is it better to have the comfor of the truth we've made up than the harsh reality?

Maybe yes.

Maybe facts don't really matter-they are just props. Maybe the emotional experience is what people really want. Life is still stressful, but we for the most part don't experience the stress to survive that our ancestors did. Stories often create emotional stress, and maybe that's what Humans need to evolve and grow.

I feel when people say they seek Truth, what they really mean is they are seeking the answer that really resonates for them. Your Truth is not mine is not my brothers is not my best friends. And while we all may be able to see the value of the others, we all have to find our own.

So maybe, if in all these false (I hope) stories I'm telling myself, there is still an important grain of Truth-as well as a handy emotional wall.

Smile-Inducer

So today while I was in Teaism waiting for my drink, a woman walked in and nearly bumped into me. In saying sorry her eyes did that slide-away-from-who-you-are-talking-to, which to me generally implys distractedness.

Then, she turns to me and says "I'm sorry are you OK?"
Blank look response.
And she asks "I'm sorry, just when I walked in it looked like there was something wrong. Are you OK? You look like you need a hug."

!!!!

I almost offered to buy her tea, if I didn't think it would have engendered a prolonged conversation that would feel awkward. But really, how sweet! How much more random act of kindness do you get?

Now part of me was kinda insulted because I had just gotten my hair cut and styled, and damnit one wants to assume they look fabulous right then. But I've been working too much, saying goodbye to good friends and sleeping too little lately, so I do look a little wrecked. What really struck me was that she noticed me as a person. How often do you really notice people on the street? Not their clothes, or their walk, or what they are doing. How often do you look at another person and really see them? She did, and what's more she reached out and offered comfort to a total stranger just because she thought I might need it. Amazing.

So here's to you random girl in green at Teaism, thanks for bringing a smile to my face and thanks for reminding me what is really important.

La Vie en Rose

I can't remember where, but I recently read that La Vie en Rose was not a good thing, that it actually meant that you see a distorted version of life, that is at odds with reality in a naive and dangerous way.

Yes, possibliy.

But more possibly, life is most importantly what you perceive it to be, good or bad. We all choose our view, conciously or unconciously. If I choose to view life with rose colored glasses, it doesn't make me naive, I think it makes me the opposite. I'm choosing to not limit my spirit. I'm letting myself stay open to every possibility out there. I'll take them all, none are bad, just new challenges.

Isn't this a lovely spot to break your foot? Thanks for the new views Nora!

J'arrive!

10 hr 50 min later, wihtout the battery for my camera, having had my toiletries explode...but I'm here! Nora's mom is being good enough to loan me her extra battery, so hopefully I'll get some good pics up soon, and very much looking forward to the challenge of deciphering the directions to posting in french...

Happy Buddha welcomes you!

Well this is new...

This next year will be filled with lots of great travel for me- starting with 2+ weeks in Parigi tomorrow! So, this is the best time I could think of to start a little blog, a little spot in cyberspace to say hi, share thoughts, and stay connected with folks. Bon Voyage, j'avais une rendevous avec ma vie!